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i take valium, valium, lots of valium

A bunch of shit...

I got my first speeding ticket by going 93 in a 65 mph stretch of I-35. 28 miles over the speed limit, and I left my proof of insurance at home. But he let me go, and now my ONLY options (because of the speed) is to pay it or be placed on Defered Adjudication with probation. However, there is still a chance that I could have my license taken away or suspended. And, my new insurance card only has the dates 9/30 - 3/30, so I have to hope I find the old card, by Wednesday. But, I must schedule an appointment around 8 AM today, for my court appearance.

***

Philosophy is becoming more and more interesting. The Christians are offended that we are reading arguments for God, while trying to rebuttal them or object. But, now we are reading arguments against, and the same will take place.

I found out that the belief that God "abandoned" his creation is shared with David Hume, in a quick flash of thoughts. His exact words are:


This world, for aught he knows, is very faulty and imperfect, compared to a superior standard, and was only the first rude essay of some infant deity who afterwards abandoned it, ashamed of his lame performance; it is the work of some dependent, inferior deity, and is the object of derision to his superiors; it is the production of old age and dotage in some superannuated deity, and ever since his death has run on at adventures, from the first impulse and active force which it retrieved from him.

[Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion]

I enjoyed reading that very much, and cannot wait to by some books that argue a case for suicide. Camus was my primary text on suicide in philosophy, but he ultimately argued against it, Sartre did as well. Life, and living, is for the strong, and is meant to be a challenge. “Every sane man thinks of suicide,” BUT don’t do it. I would just like to read a chain of thoughts that support it with logic a priori and a posteriori.

“No logic, a priori!”

I also found a copy of [Splendor in the Grass] on VHS at Half Priced Books. This is one of my favorite Natelie Wood movies, and it took for ever for me to find it. 

Later Bitches, 
Nate Reed

Man I am freaking out.


Other than that I am fine, my medications stayed the same when I went to see my psychiatrist today. This is the first time since I began seeing her, and before all the hospitalizations. My Meds:

1. Valium- 10 mg

2. Klonopin- 1 mg PRN

3. Celexa- 60 mg

4. LiCO3- 1800 mg

5. Abilify- 10 mg (I also got a months worth of samples.)

I have also been hanging out with my bosses, Lindsey and Robert, who are now dating and living together. I told Lindsey I was bi, because she got offended when I said that I did not, "find her attractive." So the other day she was making asking questions about what I have done with a guy and girl, which was fine. But, then she made a comment when I threatened to hit her with a long, think loaf of stale bread; and she said, "Oh, you like that, huh?” So I replied with, "maybe Chris, our store director, needs to know about your change in address." (The assistant and main managers are not supposed to date, and I am not even allowed to hang out with them technically.) So she was shocked, walked off, came back, and I told her I would never do that, even if I got fired, or quit, or really pissed off. She, quickly became normal again; and we continued to talk about gay-homo-queer butt sex, until Ashley showed up.

Later, on I was starting the nightly ritual of closing, as I sprayed the back listening to [Bright Eyes and other various artists], when she walked back to get her pouches of berry, Skoal, dip. I then sprayed the hose in a constant stream across the back, moving it up and down, so she would have to walk through it. She called me a "niggar" and I called her a "cum bucket," eventually she ran through it and laughed.

Today she had her tonsils taking out and I went over to visit after my classes. I got the ticket on my way home at 3 AM.

Comments

damn nate. my life is pure hell right now, but apparently, life suck all around. hmmm so so yeah, eventually things have to get better. or else i'll slit my wrists in a nice warm tub...why does that sound so much better than the evening i have planned? haha. love ya
Man one time I was driving home from work and I got pulled over by a Northlake cop. Anyone who travels down 35w regularly knows to watch for the Northlake cops, but that night I didn't. Luckily the cop that pulled me over saw my Marcus parking sticker that I never got around to taking off and he said "Wow you go to Marcus? I went there too! When it first opened!" So I sat there and talked about Marcus Highschool with this man for a while. He let me off with a warning.

(Anonymous)

Klonopin Prescription Information

My name is David Root and i would like to show you my personal experience with Klonopin. I am 25 years old. Have been on Klonopin for at least 4 months now. Started taking it for anxiety and a chemically induced teeth grinding problem from an antidepressant. It works great. It helps with the teeth grinding, and I take a very low dose of it. I don't abuse it. Abuse it, and your asking for problems. I don't see a problem with addiction (I was in a situation where I was without it for 4 days, and I was fine). I have experienced some of these side effects- None, a little sleepiness, but nothing ground breaking I hope this information will be useful to others, David Root Klonopin Prescription Information (http://www.drug3k.com/drug/Klonopin-11419.htm)

Re: Klonopin Prescription Information

I have been off Klonopin for several years, and off all of my meds since my last suicide attempt. How did you find this journal, and why is your comment inarticulate in parts?
i take valium, valium, lots of valium

December 2006

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