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i take valium, lots of valium, valium


I'm laying here with two pillows for support typing. I plan to write an actual entry, however, my thoughts have all escaped me for the time. 

The dryer is running with clothes inside, preceded by two loads. The dials, and switches must have confused me at some point causing me to walk off. Yet, I returned with a jovial spirit toward chores and found a way to make it spin and warm up. Two more load must be run through, and then one more item can be crossed of my "to-do list." Two more loads, through the dryer, and I will have my uniform ready to be worn to work, which is at 10.

I am beginning to reread [Being and Nothingness] after my philosophy professor somewhat-quoted the book. He did so in an attempt to disprove the classes idea of knowledge. "Unicorns have horns, do they exist?" An old quote, previously said and written many times; but it was still effective. 

A true, justified, belief. It does not exist, so knowledge does not exist. Nothing unknown is knowable. There is no truth, and well that is a paradox. But, with "proof" behind the theory, it tends to make sense. And, yet many philosophies are built around this. 

Existentialism deconstructed. 

Man is abandoned on earth. The creator or God is dead, or has left due to boredom or some other emotion. Man is stranded, and has no real attachment to this world that we live in. We stand on it, we substane life from it, but it does not make us need it, and it does not need us(the individual being). We are slowly proving the possibility of life somewhere else, and men and women are living in space right now, without the support of the earth, itself. The elements we use to maintain, are found everywhere. There is no attachment to this planet.  If we die, it is by chance, or a "happy accident."

Man, unlike any other item, or being in existence is free through imagination. We have control over our being. Plants, elements, and creatures do not. They are at the mercy of the environment around them. If a plant is not watered it will die, but if it is watered, and fertilized, it will flourish. Animals react to external, and internal stimuli without thought. If hungry, they eat. If scared, they run or fight. And elements are left up to the will of man. A rock can be a weapon, or a building material. Uranium can be a source of energy or a component in a bomb. We are free because we are, before we are an adjective. "Our existence, comes before our essence." So we should have the option to control who we are, what we do, and how we feel. But the imagination is, "the mind which is where hallucinations come from, shouldn't be able to make anything up that wasn't there to start with that didn't enter it from experience from the real world. Imagination can't create anything new can it? It only recycles bits and pieces from the world and reassembles them into visions. Am I making sense right now?"

So we are really never able to escape our existence or the existence of the seemingling synthetic world around us. Could that be the bridge to connect man to the world. To assume responsibility for it.  Or could it be the dependency on elements, and chemicals, and compounds, and much more biochem to exist that ties us, binds us here. 

Without a God, or fate we should be able to control every aspect of our lives, besides, when someone intervenes in ours. However, we could still be responsible. We could jaywalk and be hit by a car. In the hospital or your last moments in existence, you would blame the driver, only giving up your freedom. 

Existentialism tries to abolish the dualsims of philosophy. We can hold the idea that we are free, and yet fall into submission, or pass it up with a self-help book or an accident. Yet, we say there is no truth(absolute truth) and continue thinking. There is only the truth, that is the subject and thoughts of the individual. It is based off his perception and his interaction with the world, or the interactions within it, conducted by others. 

I'm not sure, but I've believe that I've gone in a circle. And so my thoughts, end.  


wow were you high last night. you were talking like a mile a minute, you crazy ass freak. luv to ya!
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i take valium, lots of valium, valium

December 2006

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